We have all been in a place where everything seems dark and it feels like an endless tunnel with no light at the end of it. It’s a difficult phase in life and it happens to everybody. Some may pretend as though nothing ever wrong happens to them and as though everything is hay and happy in their life. It’s a lie – a big fat lie. They are just kidding themselves. I call it ridiculous. On the other hand, some may call it positive thinking and looking ahead in life.
The actual, real, genuine smile is the one that flourishes from the happiness within one’s soul. It shows in the twinkle of one’s eyes and not on the wideness of one’s grin. And that can’t be pretentious. It has to be real.
I have heard some people say when you pretend to be happy, your pretension becomes a practice and then it becomes a reality i.e. you finally end up being happy by pretending to be so. I don’t agree with such a theory. You can’t be actually happy by pretending to be happy, because happiness is something that comes from within.
So if you are upset, be upset. If you hit a roadblock, be realistic. If you think you are weak, admit it. Take your time to figure out things. Accept your circumstances, and then bounce back on your feet. Be cheerful. Find a way around your problems. Work on your weaknesses.
I had been groping around in darkness for a long time. I was in a deep pit of sorrow and sadness. I thought this may never end. And then, with the help of many well wishers and friends and counselors, I slowly crawled out of the pit I had made my home. I found my solace in prayer and I found my happiness in me.
Prayer and hope in God was what kept me going. And His happiness filled in my soul.
Now looking back, I think I have learnt one of my most important life lessons – that you are responsible for your own happiness. No matter how deeply sunk you are in a valley, there’s always a way to clamber out of it. And while you are still figuring out how to do it, smile anyway. Be patient with yourself and with your circumstances. Deal with it calmly. Tough times teach you the biggest lessons in your life. Find your happiness in little things. Do what you like to do. Go out. Take a walk. Drive. Write. Dance. Do what makes you happy.
You are your own happiness. If taking care of your home and children makes you happy, do it and enjoy doing it. If watering your plants makes you happy, do it and enjoy it. If talking to someone makes you happy, do it and enjoy it. If praying makes you happy, do it and enjoy doing it. The bottom line is to do what makes you happy and enjoy what you do.
There will be times where we can’t enjoy all that we do. Sometimes, we are compelled by the call of duty to do things that we may not be quite happy about. Do it anyways. There’s no point in making a grumpy face and cribbing about it. You know you have got to do it anyway. So while you are at it, why not just be happy about it as well. But not pretentiously; enjoy it sincerely.
I have just entered a new job – something I am extremely happy about. It’s a sudden twist in my life and a complete change of profession. It has nothing to do with my academic accomplishments. But, what I am doing right now is something I have always been passionate about. I have dreamt of being here ever since I was in Junior High. But then after High School, my life took a sudden twist which made me to switch.
As someone who once gave up on her dreams and regretted it later, I would like to speak through experience – never give up your dreams, follow your passion, do what you want to do. When you are choosing a career line, ask yourselves what is that YOU want to do. And do just that, no matter what others say, think or suggest.
There would be all sorts of people giving you all sorts of advice, even if you don’t ask them. Don’t take all of them seriously. Listen to those who guide you towards your passion, ignore the ones who tell you what job would pay how much. Well, if you are one of those who convert every decision into currency, then sure go ahead. You will succeed in life and prosper (wealth wise); and at the end of it, I really hope you have no regrets whatsoever.
But if you are one of those who listen to the voice of their heart, the ones who can feel the urge of their soul to follow their passion - never make money the centre point of your decision. You may end up being successful in terms of money, but your heart would always pound for what you left behind.
Well, back in those days, when I wasn’t so wise, I did the very thing that I am now asking you not to do. Someone had advised me “Arts won’t fetch you a high paying job”. Thinking them to be wiser than me, I listened to them. Today, I call it the biggest mistake of my life.
Being a somewhat practical person and being completely true to what I do, I put aside all my dreams and worked hard for I had then accepted as my destiny. But try as hard as I could, I just could not finish what I had started.
My academic accomplishments are still incomplete. It would certainly find me a job and definitely one with a better pay than what I have been offered at my new place. But as I said, I am doing what is making me happy. And if life is giving me a second chance to live my dreams and follow my passion, I would be a complete buffoon to let it go. There’s no looking back from here. My heart pined for my passion. And perhaps, that’s what made this happen. Of course, not everyone is a dreamy creature like I am.
I am doing what is making me happy, and isn’t happiness what life is all about? But then again, a very wise friend of mine reminded me something: “Your happiness should not depend on your job, neither anything else other than you.”
Yes, my happiness lies within me, and me alone, and nothing else.
Life is never easy. We all need to find our way through it. But stay happy anyway. Smile anyway. Believe in God and in yourself. Enjoy the little moments in life. After all, life is about those little moments of joy that make the journey worthwhile.
And finally, you are your own happiness.